...some above and some below.
I've been waking up early this week. Like an hour before the alarm. I've always wanted to be more of a morning person, maybe that's happening. For the last several mornings, I've gotten up and headed to a quiet room in the house to sit in meditation for a while. This is a new layer for me.... a quiet sitting meditation.
I've attempted to cultivate a meditation practice on many occasions, but somehow the discipline fails to stick for an extended period of time. I know I can quiet my mind by sewing or knitting, listening to soft music or yogic chanting, but just sitting in silence has been a challenge. I can easily slide into quiet in a yoga class, but somehow, at home, its different. My thoughts race from one thing to another rather than stillness.
I often use a mala and repeat a mantra .... that helps .... but the cultivation of true silence is still elusive. This morning, my head was swimming with the tasks of the day, problem solving, or reflecting on how stiff my knees are in the morning.
Tis the next layer to explore....
Saturday, July 30, 2011
Thursday, July 28, 2011
Layers....
...upon layers.
This move to the new facility has been interesting to say the least. What I've been noticing is that we can only work in layers. This has to be done before that can be done. For example, I can't finish prepping my exam rooms until the computer wall mounts are up and the computers get off the counters. The computers can't get mounted and installed until the IT guys have time and they have been busy with the servers. The printers can't be installed (also on the counter tops) til the grommets get installed. Whew. It gets confusing.
Layer upon layer.
Moving an entire university division into a new building (approved December 2007, completed [almost] July 2011) is a huge undertaking and I've had time to make sure my assignments are done, without worrying about the bigger picture at this point. I'm staying grounded for the most part, although yesterday was a harder day and I was exhausted by last night. I keep reminding myself that I'm not in charge of this or that, and letting go of the rest.
My yoga teacher is back from Peru and it was so good to see him tonight. It was an amazing class and the energy in the room was so delightful. I almost cried with pure joy several times during the class. I was in my element and found new layers there. My mind immediately quieted as class began, breathing was effortless, poses were deeper. The past 3 weeks have been time for integration and appreciation, and tonight, a joyful practice, in celebration of the sense of being home.
Om Shanti... Om.
This move to the new facility has been interesting to say the least. What I've been noticing is that we can only work in layers. This has to be done before that can be done. For example, I can't finish prepping my exam rooms until the computer wall mounts are up and the computers get off the counters. The computers can't get mounted and installed until the IT guys have time and they have been busy with the servers. The printers can't be installed (also on the counter tops) til the grommets get installed. Whew. It gets confusing.
Layer upon layer.
Moving an entire university division into a new building (approved December 2007, completed [almost] July 2011) is a huge undertaking and I've had time to make sure my assignments are done, without worrying about the bigger picture at this point. I'm staying grounded for the most part, although yesterday was a harder day and I was exhausted by last night. I keep reminding myself that I'm not in charge of this or that, and letting go of the rest.
My yoga teacher is back from Peru and it was so good to see him tonight. It was an amazing class and the energy in the room was so delightful. I almost cried with pure joy several times during the class. I was in my element and found new layers there. My mind immediately quieted as class began, breathing was effortless, poses were deeper. The past 3 weeks have been time for integration and appreciation, and tonight, a joyful practice, in celebration of the sense of being home.
Om Shanti... Om.
Tuesday, July 26, 2011
Going with....
...the flow.
The move is coming along. Computers are going on line (still no charting system available, maybe tomorrow), old building is almost empty (5 of my boxes are missing in action, but they will turn up), lots of shopping trips to Target (retail therapy on the clock), building issues (like who signed off on data ports with no associated power outlets?). Some tempers are short, everyone is tired. Except me.
I'm strangely invigorated by the adventure. Just going with the flow. Having my computer on line was the first blessing, I somehow didn't feel cut off from civilization. I make lists of stuff to bring and to buy, and I've been able to leave early yesterday and today.
Even the delivery of my boxes from the old building made me supremely happy today. OK, I'm weird.
On my iPod right now is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I think this has a lot to do with my upbeat frame of mine. Gretchen, an author and former attorney, spent a year studying and implementing a plan to increase her own happiness. Her list of Personal Commandments (on the right side of the website) immediately resonated with me. And her Secrets of Adulthood made me laugh and cry in the same 3 minutes. (Gretchen: I would add one to the Secret List: You must be present to win!)
Her insights are sound, her advice is spot on, and listening to her while I work has been a point of happiness in and of itself. I find myself nodding in agreement as she chronicles her insights from month to month.
This week's resolution on her website is to "make something by hand." As a quilter, I made stuff by hand all the time, and I reflected on how much joy (sometimes... no, often... peppered with frustration) that this avocation brings me. I made a mala for my yoga teacher before he left for Peru. For 2 hours, I sat beading and knotting and adding a prayer with each bead. Not only was I intensely happy making it, but he was so happy to receive it. It was a meditation of pure joy.
Rudyard Kipling's poem If just popped into my mind. OK, so its a little sexist (how bout adding a daughter to that last line?), but it surely resonates with my sense of going with the flow. Especially the iconic first stanzas:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
And I would add (paraphrasing the sage advice of my river friends):
The move is coming along. Computers are going on line (still no charting system available, maybe tomorrow), old building is almost empty (5 of my boxes are missing in action, but they will turn up), lots of shopping trips to Target (retail therapy on the clock), building issues (like who signed off on data ports with no associated power outlets?). Some tempers are short, everyone is tired. Except me.
I'm strangely invigorated by the adventure. Just going with the flow. Having my computer on line was the first blessing, I somehow didn't feel cut off from civilization. I make lists of stuff to bring and to buy, and I've been able to leave early yesterday and today.
Even the delivery of my boxes from the old building made me supremely happy today. OK, I'm weird.
On my iPod right now is The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin. I think this has a lot to do with my upbeat frame of mine. Gretchen, an author and former attorney, spent a year studying and implementing a plan to increase her own happiness. Her list of Personal Commandments (on the right side of the website) immediately resonated with me. And her Secrets of Adulthood made me laugh and cry in the same 3 minutes. (Gretchen: I would add one to the Secret List: You must be present to win!)
Her insights are sound, her advice is spot on, and listening to her while I work has been a point of happiness in and of itself. I find myself nodding in agreement as she chronicles her insights from month to month.
This week's resolution on her website is to "make something by hand." As a quilter, I made stuff by hand all the time, and I reflected on how much joy (sometimes... no, often... peppered with frustration) that this avocation brings me. I made a mala for my yoga teacher before he left for Peru. For 2 hours, I sat beading and knotting and adding a prayer with each bead. Not only was I intensely happy making it, but he was so happy to receive it. It was a meditation of pure joy.
Rudyard Kipling's poem If just popped into my mind. OK, so its a little sexist (how bout adding a daughter to that last line?), but it surely resonates with my sense of going with the flow. Especially the iconic first stanzas:
If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:
If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:
And I would add (paraphrasing the sage advice of my river friends):
Keep your head above water
and
your feet down stream...
and you'll get to the shore.
Friday, July 22, 2011
Be a....
...Tree.
Before he left for Peru, my teacher gave me homework, most of which I've been doing very consistently. I've been breathing, thinking, journalling, going to my yoga classes.... and being a tree.
My office is in the midst of moving from a 46 year old facility to a new building and today was the last day in the old digs. Boxes are packed, desks moving out, computers going down, the normal chaos of moving a staff of 35 people, and all the gear that goes along with a health care practice. The new building still is not ready, the punch list is miles long and by this afternoon, we still didn't have full electrical power.
At our last session, my teacher told me about this teaching from Thich Nhat Hanh... and of course, I had to find it on the internet.....
A strong emotion is like a storm. If you look at a tree in a storm, the top of the tree seems fragile, like it might break at any moment. You are afraid the storm might uproot the tree. But if you turn your attention to the trunk of the tree, you realize that its roots are deeply anchored in the ground, and you see that the tree will be able to hold.
You too are a tree. During a storm of emotion, you should not stay at the level of the head or the heart, which are like the top of the tree. You have to leave the heart, the eye of the storm and come back to the trunk of the tree. Your trunk is one centimeter below your navel. Focus there, parying attention only to the movement of your abdomen, and continue to breathe. Then you will survive the storm of strong emotion.
It is essential to understand that an emotion is merely something that arises, remains, and then goes away. A storm comes, it stays a while, and then it moves away. At the critical moment, remember that you are much more than your emotions. This is a simple thing that everybody knows, but you may need to be reminded of it: you are much more than your emotions. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
The storm was raging around me all week... packing, trying to see students and patients, numerous people being upset for this reason or that. I was able to stay fairly focused, calm, and productive. Even our manager asked me why I looked so calm (meditating at lunch might have a lot to do with it).
The anxiety in the building got pretty thick.... but I kept focusing on being a tree. Somehow it will all work out!
Before he left for Peru, my teacher gave me homework, most of which I've been doing very consistently. I've been breathing, thinking, journalling, going to my yoga classes.... and being a tree.
My office is in the midst of moving from a 46 year old facility to a new building and today was the last day in the old digs. Boxes are packed, desks moving out, computers going down, the normal chaos of moving a staff of 35 people, and all the gear that goes along with a health care practice. The new building still is not ready, the punch list is miles long and by this afternoon, we still didn't have full electrical power.
At our last session, my teacher told me about this teaching from Thich Nhat Hanh... and of course, I had to find it on the internet.....
A strong emotion is like a storm. If you look at a tree in a storm, the top of the tree seems fragile, like it might break at any moment. You are afraid the storm might uproot the tree. But if you turn your attention to the trunk of the tree, you realize that its roots are deeply anchored in the ground, and you see that the tree will be able to hold.
You too are a tree. During a storm of emotion, you should not stay at the level of the head or the heart, which are like the top of the tree. You have to leave the heart, the eye of the storm and come back to the trunk of the tree. Your trunk is one centimeter below your navel. Focus there, parying attention only to the movement of your abdomen, and continue to breathe. Then you will survive the storm of strong emotion.
It is essential to understand that an emotion is merely something that arises, remains, and then goes away. A storm comes, it stays a while, and then it moves away. At the critical moment, remember that you are much more than your emotions. This is a simple thing that everybody knows, but you may need to be reminded of it: you are much more than your emotions. ~ Thich Nhat Hanh
The storm was raging around me all week... packing, trying to see students and patients, numerous people being upset for this reason or that. I was able to stay fairly focused, calm, and productive. Even our manager asked me why I looked so calm (meditating at lunch might have a lot to do with it).
The anxiety in the building got pretty thick.... but I kept focusing on being a tree. Somehow it will all work out!
Thursday, July 14, 2011
Guru Purnima....
...thanking the teachers.
On the full moon of July, Hindus and Buddhists celebrate Guru Purnima, the honoring of gurus and teachers. Tonight is the Full Moon, and I pause to thank my teachers. (For more information, check out Guru Purnima on good old Wikipedia!)
My current teacher is a gifted man with a pure heart. He's out of the country right now and I sincerely miss his guidance and energy. I felt an instant resonance when I met him. His classes make me work... and smile.... and I honor his presence in my life.
What makes a good yoga teacher? I'm sure every style of yoga has their own criteria... for me its more than mastery of the subject. Teaching requires a unique ability to communicate not only the poses but the spirit of yoga. There is a heart centered energy that comes with those who are truly gifted and feel yoga in their souls. I can sense it quickly and the feeling deepens with each class. I've grown in strength and endurance with my current teacher. I so look forward to his classes, especially at the end of a crazy work day. I can truly feel my body and breath change as we begin.
I've been in classes where I don't feel that connection. Tonight was one such night. The substitute was nervous, spoke in sing song rhythm and tried to teach a style she was not well acquainted with. The shift in energy was enormous. I had to come to a place where I could remove her from the equation and simply be present in my practice.
But overall, I've been so blessed with many many talented loving teachers in my yoga life. To each of them, I bow in gratitude.
From Ram Dass:
As I gazed at the full moon tonight, I sent a silent thanks to every one of my teachers. I have learned from each of you. Namaste.
On the full moon of July, Hindus and Buddhists celebrate Guru Purnima, the honoring of gurus and teachers. Tonight is the Full Moon, and I pause to thank my teachers. (For more information, check out Guru Purnima on good old Wikipedia!)
My current teacher is a gifted man with a pure heart. He's out of the country right now and I sincerely miss his guidance and energy. I felt an instant resonance when I met him. His classes make me work... and smile.... and I honor his presence in my life.
What makes a good yoga teacher? I'm sure every style of yoga has their own criteria... for me its more than mastery of the subject. Teaching requires a unique ability to communicate not only the poses but the spirit of yoga. There is a heart centered energy that comes with those who are truly gifted and feel yoga in their souls. I can sense it quickly and the feeling deepens with each class. I've grown in strength and endurance with my current teacher. I so look forward to his classes, especially at the end of a crazy work day. I can truly feel my body and breath change as we begin.
I've been in classes where I don't feel that connection. Tonight was one such night. The substitute was nervous, spoke in sing song rhythm and tried to teach a style she was not well acquainted with. The shift in energy was enormous. I had to come to a place where I could remove her from the equation and simply be present in my practice.
But overall, I've been so blessed with many many talented loving teachers in my yoga life. To each of them, I bow in gratitude.
From Ram Dass:
As I gazed at the full moon tonight, I sent a silent thanks to every one of my teachers. I have learned from each of you. Namaste.
Tuesday, July 5, 2011
Be the rain....
...be the rain.
The monsoons have finally arrived to nuture our dry soil and parched forests.
I've been doing private sessions with my primary yoga teacher, doing energy work and talking about yoga as life. A few weeks ago, we did my natal chart, placing the planets according to their energy. I'm strong in earth (no surprise, Capricorn with a Taurus moon), strong in fire, moderate in air, and low in water energy. So we've been working with that... related to the 3rd chakra, solar plexus, and lots of energetic stuff.
I'm not a crier generally and being able to cry in session has been a tremendous gift. It's water, he says, and my work is in letting it flow. Strengthening the water element and moving stuff through.
Tonight as we concluded our class in savasana, the rains resumed, and along with it, I heard "Be the Rain, Be the Rain...." and that was my mantra through our relaxation.
And then I cried all the way home.....
The monsoons have finally arrived to nuture our dry soil and parched forests.
I've been doing private sessions with my primary yoga teacher, doing energy work and talking about yoga as life. A few weeks ago, we did my natal chart, placing the planets according to their energy. I'm strong in earth (no surprise, Capricorn with a Taurus moon), strong in fire, moderate in air, and low in water energy. So we've been working with that... related to the 3rd chakra, solar plexus, and lots of energetic stuff.
I'm not a crier generally and being able to cry in session has been a tremendous gift. It's water, he says, and my work is in letting it flow. Strengthening the water element and moving stuff through.
Tonight as we concluded our class in savasana, the rains resumed, and along with it, I heard "Be the Rain, Be the Rain...." and that was my mantra through our relaxation.
And then I cried all the way home.....
Saturday, July 2, 2011
Moving thru....
... life. So all the international company have departed and I have a few days to reflect. I've blogged about Nathan and the stoles on my quilting blog QuiltsQuilts.
Today I should be working on a quilt, but the project has gone on for months and I've lost my enthusiasm. Instead, 3 more projects are percolating in my head and I'd rather be doing those. I will get to the most important later today.... but for now, I need to carry on and get this one completed.
The quandry is between doing what I want to do and doing what I should do! How to balance? Perhaps a healthy boundary here.... sew for a while, bead for a while, sew for a while. It's a rare Saturday with no committments. Time to find a balance and harmony between my left and right brains, and accomplish both. Wish me luck!
Today I should be working on a quilt, but the project has gone on for months and I've lost my enthusiasm. Instead, 3 more projects are percolating in my head and I'd rather be doing those. I will get to the most important later today.... but for now, I need to carry on and get this one completed.
The quandry is between doing what I want to do and doing what I should do! How to balance? Perhaps a healthy boundary here.... sew for a while, bead for a while, sew for a while. It's a rare Saturday with no committments. Time to find a balance and harmony between my left and right brains, and accomplish both. Wish me luck!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)