Back on the...

...mat.

I finally made it to yoga class tonight.  The studio has certainly gone thru a lot of teachers since mine has been gone.  The first, while she claimed that her primary practice was Sivananda, was NOT a true Sivananda teacher.   She had stuff in all the wrong order and it just doesn't work that way in my mind (and come to find out, many others).  I think she has been dismissed. 

Since being home from the ashram, I've had command performance holiday parties on every night that yoga is offered.  The new sub is good, I finally went tonight.  It felt good but oh my goodness, three weeks without a structured practice really made me feel it.

I still long for the calm of my teacher.  He is getting better, but still at home, healing.  We've talked often.  At the end tonight, I felt very connected to him.  I could feel activity in my third eye....a gentle pressure that was both reassuring and tender.

Tomorrow is the Winter Solstice.  The light returns.  Candles are gently glowing as I write this.  A sense of calm pervades.  I felt very anxious going to class tonight.  But now I feel a renewal beginning...

Om Shanti...  

Ups....

...and downs.

Winter is not my favorite season.  I put up with it because the rest of the year here is so glorious.  So now, we have snow and ice and cruddy roads and short days.  I'll perk up after the Winter Solstice, but for now, its purely the blahs.

But I push on.   I haven't been to a yoga class since I got home.  I do meditate and I breathe, but I've got to get back into my routine (when the roads are ok).... and I've had some good chats with my teacher.  His health is improving, thankfully. 

In the midst of the blahs, and out of the blue, I got an email from a former patient of mine.  She came in with chronic pain which was not being dealt with... except with increasing prescriptions of narcotics.  We had the long chat about long term use, and I had given her a copy of our contract for controlled substances to take home and read.  She came back the next day in tears, asking to speak to me, and tearfully related that she had never been fully informed of all the side efffects and long term issues.  Together, we planned a schedule to wean her off the meds, and she did it.

I've run into her from time to time... and today's email brought tears to my eyes.  She is still in pain, but using medications wisely and getting the appropriate treatments.  And now, after several years of living in a woman's shelter, she is on her own and teaching workshops in budgeting in the public schools.  She is empowered.  And she wrote to thank me for believing in her all those years ago.  Now she believes it too.

So while its snowing and grey outside, a bit of sunshine arrived in my email box.  I'm so very proud of her!

We never know who we touch.