Lessons....

..in compassion.

This week as has been a bit of a challenge.  As a family nurse practitioner, I see individuals with all sorts of acute and chronic health issues.  Our clinic provides "urgent care" appointments that are designed to deal with one minor problem in a 15 minute slot.  On Tuesday, a woman presented stating she only needed a blood test after being in the emergency room the day before.  Of course, there was a lot more to the story.

I can't really go into details here, but suffice to say, she was a study in lack of self care.  At first, I was angry with her for letting her health go to such dire extremes.  Medically, I knew what I had to do, but I was letting too many emotions get in the way.  I was losing my grounding... fast.  So I excused myself on the pretext of checking on something and went back to my office to breathe for a short while and plan my approach.  This was not going to be usual 15 minute appointment.

Becoming more grounded helped me re-prioritize and take another approach.   Find out what was most important to her and see her issues thru the eyes of compassion and not judgement.  We took care of the most urgent medical issues and constructed a plan for at home care.  (And its working, I saw her back today and she's much improved.... not perfect but doing a lot better)

The whole situation played on my mind all day.  Off to yoga after work.  My teacher started class with a chant, and while I don't know which chant he used or what it meant, it touched me on many levels.  Big tears ran down my face thru the whole chant and thru our breathing exercises.  The thought came to my mind:  If I can extend that level of compassion to this patient I've never before met, why can't I regard myself in the same way?

Whew..... and whew.

I was a tearful mess thru the whole class.  Afterwards, I was able to talk to my teacher and share what had just happened.  He was so supportive and calm, as he always is.  And suddenly the weight lifted and has not returned.  What a magnificent reminder...  a sublime lesson.

Tonight was a joyful practice... not one of tears or deep pain.  Just the joy of pranayama and asana.... and a peaceful compassionate heart.