Abundance...

...on the mat.

I love the Sunday morning classes.   The teacher is graceful, detailed, kind, and has the sweetest energy around her.  We've been focusing on each chakra for the past 6 weeks, and today was the final installment, the crown chakra.   We practiced without music today, which I do like.  And from the start, I was able to deeply meditate in the resting poses.

Today, as she narrated, I could feel lots of  micromovements especially in my spine and hips.  Lots of little adjustments were going on (of course, just seeing my chiro helps too), and I could feel my spine and neck lengthening, even in millimeters.  What kept coming to my mind was abundance.  Each time I'd feel a lengthening, it was about abundance.  Abundance of grace, of movement, of spirit, of community.

Then we got to full wheel (backbend) at the end.  OK, I admit it, I'm terrified to full wheel.  At one time, many moons ago, I could do a great backbend, even from a standing position.  But the years of course, take their toll.  And now between wrists and neck and low back, full wheel would be nice but..... 

I suddenly remember my father commenting that if I did a backbend every day, I'd never lose it.  And although we had sort of a love/hate relationship, I have to give this one to him.  I stopped doing backbends in high school. 

But even that thought, and a tad of grief over this loss of mobility, did not take from the sensation of abundance that I felt on the mat this morning. 

During final savasana,  I truly drifted somewhere.   I have no idea what the teacher said at that pont, I was totally quiet in mind and body and not even aware of the surroundings.  That is abundance.

Om Shanti ....

Lessons....

..in compassion.

This week as has been a bit of a challenge.  As a family nurse practitioner, I see individuals with all sorts of acute and chronic health issues.  Our clinic provides "urgent care" appointments that are designed to deal with one minor problem in a 15 minute slot.  On Tuesday, a woman presented stating she only needed a blood test after being in the emergency room the day before.  Of course, there was a lot more to the story.

I can't really go into details here, but suffice to say, she was a study in lack of self care.  At first, I was angry with her for letting her health go to such dire extremes.  Medically, I knew what I had to do, but I was letting too many emotions get in the way.  I was losing my grounding... fast.  So I excused myself on the pretext of checking on something and went back to my office to breathe for a short while and plan my approach.  This was not going to be usual 15 minute appointment.

Becoming more grounded helped me re-prioritize and take another approach.   Find out what was most important to her and see her issues thru the eyes of compassion and not judgement.  We took care of the most urgent medical issues and constructed a plan for at home care.  (And its working, I saw her back today and she's much improved.... not perfect but doing a lot better)

The whole situation played on my mind all day.  Off to yoga after work.  My teacher started class with a chant, and while I don't know which chant he used or what it meant, it touched me on many levels.  Big tears ran down my face thru the whole chant and thru our breathing exercises.  The thought came to my mind:  If I can extend that level of compassion to this patient I've never before met, why can't I regard myself in the same way?

Whew..... and whew.

I was a tearful mess thru the whole class.  Afterwards, I was able to talk to my teacher and share what had just happened.  He was so supportive and calm, as he always is.  And suddenly the weight lifted and has not returned.  What a magnificent reminder...  a sublime lesson.

Tonight was a joyful practice... not one of tears or deep pain.  Just the joy of pranayama and asana.... and a peaceful compassionate heart.  

There's no place like.....

....Om.

I love the chanting of yoga classes.  To sing/chant the universal sound of Om at the beginning of class signals my break from the everyday world to the domain of practice.  At the end of class, Om feels like a summary, a conclusion, a completeness.

Over the past few months, I've noticed that in my usual class, the Om is slightly off key and dissonant in the beginning, but by the end the resonance is pure and consistent.  I see it as the joining of energies thru the practice into one community of voice.

This article came across my consciousness this week.  Good background info for a sound, a symbol that seems to be everywhere.  I hear a union in Om, a blending of sound and hearts and minds.  When I chant Om in class or alone, I sense a deep connection with all that is life and love and peace.

This past weekend was our annual yoga festival.  I've been to the festival in the past 2 years, but have not been brave enough to actually take classes....  I just didn't feel good enough!  But this year, I braved the waters and jumped in.

At first, I felt very at home and a sense of unity of purpose, but as the first day's classes proceeded, some egos started to emerge.   I can recognize who I resonate with and who I don't.....  and picked up some really weird vibes from some of the teachers and participants.

But what I noticed the most was the disharmony of the Oms in most of the classes.  A disharmony that did not go away by the end of class.  In each class, there were one or two voices that just had to be louder, or longer, or just off the mark.  It was sort of ugly a few times, blatant discordance in a culture that should be (IMHO) should be directed toward similar goals.  Rather than blending, they needed to stand out.  And that, to me, is antithetical to all the yoga means.

This article from Elephant Journal raises some excellent questions.  In spite of our shared goals, lines are being drawn.  Competitions exist, hierarchy emerges.  That's not why I practice.

I practice for my own health, serenity, and healing.  I practice to blend my energies, my breath, my essence.