My brother-from-another-mother-from-down-under....

.... will be here tomorrow!

In the early days of the Internet, I met Darryl on a bulletin board on alternative healing. He was doing his thesis on Reiki, as I had done mine. We conversed for years, through his graduate degree, and then in 1998, he was able to visit the US on his way from Brisbane Australia to London. We had a memorable few days of touring Northern Arizona.

One stop on that tour was the Chapel of the Holy Cross in Sedona. Outside the Chapel, and in the courtyard, is a copper statue of St. Francis and there, Darryl began his journey of religious vocation. We did not know it at the time.

Now many years later, Darryl is Brother Nathan James of the Society of St. Francis. He will be ordained as an Anglican deacon next February in Brisbane AU. We have not seen each other in 13 years, yet those years don't matter. We have become close friends of the heart and the distance does not matter. Nathan has done a far better job of telling the whole story on his blog -- but my role in his journey is just a part of it. We are headed to Sedona after he arrives in AZ tomorrow. There I will present him with his ordination stole, hand dyed and hand made with the spirit of love and friendship.

What I've learned from Nathan is that distance does not impede friendship. We are vastly different yet those differences don't seem to matter. We accept and rejoice in our similarities and our differences. I feel so very honored that he was able to squeak out a few days on US soil and share them with me!

Blessed Solstice....

...the turning of the wheel. The longest day of the year comes to an end. It was warm and sunny and finally felt like summer.

At yoga tonight, we set intentions for the summer and the year to come. The solstice is the perfect transition time for reclaiming and manifesting our dreams. I was talking to my teacher yesterday about bringing darkness into light, a perfect metphor for the solstice, as the days begin to subtly shift toward the darkness of winter, only to return in December.

And as we breathed our savasana tonight, the music from the hot dog stand next door permeated the studio walls. More Beatles. "Here Comes the Sun." The universe does have a sense of humor!

Forty Years....

...ago I graduated from nursing school. From an early age on, all I wanted to be was a nurse. Now this isn't surprising considering I'm the only child of a dysfunctional family and most nurses are... but there was a sense of romance to that white cap and starched white uniform... and sense of service that I didn't understand at the time. Medical stuff fascinated me. I read everything I could from the World Book Encyclopedia, Cherry Ames books, and the Red Cross First Aid and Home Nursing Manuals.

My parents told me they would pay for four years of college. Get it done was the message. And I did. It was Father's Day, 1971, at some unremembered church in Madison WI, where I received my pin and diploma. I said to my dad, "Happy Father's Day, No More Tuition...." (it was Father's Day...). It was one of the few times I remember his saying "I'm proud of you."

One nursing school experience stands out as I look at my 40 yr old diploma (which I dug out of storage)..... Alice S was the director of the school, an elderly nurse who put her white starch above her practice. She was all about appearances and rules and not necessarily about nursing practice. She was very old school. At one point we had a disagreement about my prior completion of a nursing history class before I entered her program. She maintained that I had to take HER course, I countered that I had already completed that curriculum and should not have to repeat it. I presented the syllabus from my university class which almost matched hers, and my copy of my transcript showing an "A" in the class. She was so affronted that she told me I'd (a) never finish HER program (b) never be a good nurse, (c) never pass my boards and/or (d)wash out in my first year. I did not have to take her class in the end, she acquiesced when I told her I'd let the faculty chair decide. I think I took her insults as a challenge and finished the program with great grades and passed my boards on the first try.

Forty years later, that fire is still there. Not only did I finish the program, continue a career, but added a bachelor's and master's degrees (as a nurse practitioner) in nursing on top of it. So there. I'm a good nurse, I still like being a nurse. Those letters, RN, after my name still mean something to me. I celebrate my profession (even though I haven't worn whites or a cap in a long long time).... I'm still here, 40 years of continuous licensing and practice. The journey continues.....

One Inch....

...at a time. Part 2.

Sunday morning yoga class.... Our teacher always does a stellar meditation at the beginning and today we focused on the root chakra, Muldahara, the four petaled lotus at the base of the spine. For me, the root chakra is always about grounding and being in my body (since I'm often in my head!). She also asked us to set an intention for our practice.

My intention, which often becomes my mantra for the day, is often "One Inch at a Time." I have to remember ahimsa, the first yama of yoga. It means "do no harm" to ourselves or others. To me it means remembering that my body doesn't always want to go where my mind wants it to go. And after 75 minutes of yoga, there are muscles screaming!

I remembered today some of the things I love about yoga. The slow stretches, the focused breathing to support the poses. I feel micro movements, subtle adjustments, and lengthening in poses. Sometimes I feel a strength coming up from my toes to hold an asana. My intention is always to go just an inch further or a few seconds longer.... sometimes I do, sometimes I can't.

There are good yoga days and not so good yoga days. Today was a good one.

Moving on....

....letting go.

Someone from my past died this week. My reaction was not one of grief but one of release. As far as I know she did not suffer from any devastating illness or terminal physical disease. My sense is that she needed to let go of all the ill-considered decisions she had made in her life and the suffering she had caused for other people. From my vantage point, I saw her as someone who could not embrace her own essence. She always had to be right. And she was skilled at manipulating circumstances so she felt she was right. And she was very good at it.

I think she found herself in an intolerable situation with a business that was failing, a reputation that had declined significantly. She was not someone who could "cut her losses and move on." She was defeated on all levels. I feel compassion for her family, now left without a mother, wife, and aunt. And for those who will have to shoulder the responsibilities of cleaning up what is left.

Indeed, she had both a positive and negative impact on my life. I thank her for her gifts and forgive her for the wounds she tried to inflict. This does not feel like a major loss to me right now. When our friendship/business relationship ended in 2006, I grieved the loss of a dream of what could have been. I moved on. It was time.

How does one's spirit become so damanged that life cannot go on? Is it possible that this was her final choice? Or that her karma has directed her into other lessons?

Peace......

Lunar Eclipse.....

.... sunshine and shadow.

Today, Google has had a live feed of the lunar eclipse. It sort of sounds crazy, but watching the live feed from Dubai was fascinating. The earth moved from the left upper portion of the moon, across the surface, almost diagnonally, and past the lower edge. As I watched, only half listening to the commentator, I was taken by how vast our universe really is.... and how much we are a part of that greater whole.

It was the interplay of light and shadow that held my attention. Light, shadow, and darkness are all part of the same continum, not separate entities as some would imagine. As the earth moved over the moon, the color changed from bright white to pink and orange and finally blood orange during the full eclipse. And as the shadow moved, the opposite side of the moon began to lighten in color and finally returned to the bright white full moon we all know.

I've been talking with my teacher about shadowy stuff. I'm still me. But sometimes the shadow, the stuff I don't like about myself, passes by, obscuring my light and placing me in partial darkness. But like the eclipse, the shadow passes and I'm still me on the other side. And still part of that greater whole.

Om Shanti.....

Deva Premal & Miten - Lokah Samasta

Just had to share this video......